Dear Gary—
I don’t want to do this anymore. You have probably guessed that from how long it is taking me to write each new entry. One of the telltale signs for me is when I hear the first few deep, solemn tones of the Doctor’s voice near the beginning of The Pyramid at the End of the World and I realize how sick I am of these Peter Capaldi monologues alone in his TARDIS as he strums his guitar imparting some cryptic wisdom to the air. Hooray for Bill for interrupting him mid-thought.
However, what Bill interrupts him with is just as wearisome. Instead of the Pope, this time it is the UN who has barged into the middle of Bill’s date in order for her to take them to the office-bound Doctor. Not UNIT mind you, but the UN Secretary-General himself has arrived for the President of Earth (AKA the Doctor) to aid in this time of crisis. And what is the earth-shattering crisis that calls for such high level attention? A pyramid has suddenly appeared in Turmezistan. Apparently the Secretary-General has read ahead in the script and knows that this mysterious pyramid is in fact an alien spaceship full of menacing monks and not, say, an advertising gimmick for a new Egyptian food chain or the latest David Copperfield illusion.
First, let me get a few minor points of irritation out of the way. When the UN Secretary-General says Bill is the one person to contact the President she responds with an extremely racist comment: “I mean, I wouldn't even have voted for him. He's orange.” There are a multitude of reasons not to have voted for the man; why does she choose skin color as hers? It’s funny—ha, ha—unless, of course, she changes the color and speaks of his predecessor. Then there is the pyramid of our title. Does anyone else realize that the monks have their very own TARDIS? “It's something disguised as a pyramid, that just appeared out of thin air, and that's all way beyond human technology, so it's got to be alien. It's an alien space ship.” New Who has increasingly blunted the powerful notion of the TARDIS, but this renders that beloved blue box run-of-the-mill.
Now let me get to the fundamental flaws of the story.
First, why in the world does everybody trust the monks about the end of the world? They grab hold of some glowing strands and see a vision of a dead planet and take this as the gospel of Earth’s future. How do they know that this isn’t some sort of parlor trick on the part of the monks? The UN Secretary-General and the military leaders give in far too easily. How did they ever get to positions of power since they clearly don’t have any solid leadership qualities? But then everyone knows that Earthlings in the Doctor Who universe are idiots, so whatever. (As a side note—the Doomsday Clock has been in existence since 1947 and scientists have been warning about global catastrophe for years, yet there has never and will never be consensus as to accuracy or action. Why do the monks have any more persuasion than decades worth of scientific knowledge?)
Next, the biohazard. How did this Douglas guy get to be a scientist working in such a high-level watch-list worthy lab to begin with? A lab, apparently, with very little oversight or crisis management. A decimal point error? Really? A day in which an important experiment is set to go to stage two and Douglas goes on a drinking binge the night before and shows up barely functioning and is allowed to punch in the numbers and makes such an elemental error? Really? With no double checks in place? And at such a critical time in the experiment and there are only these two present? And an air-filtration cycle that can’t be turned off? Surely there is some way to stop it. If Erica can’t do it there must be someone she can call. But apparently there is no failsafe in this high-level, watch-list worthy lab.
Then there is the Doctor locked in the room set to blow up and he can’t get out because he can’t see the lock in order to set the right number sequence. OK, he has some magic sonic sunglasses and Bill has a phone. Can’t he FaceTime her so she can be his eyes for him? Surely his magic sonic sunglasses have the functionality to send video to Bill’s phone. Erica probably has a phone of her own as well.
All of this pales, however, in the face of the central conceit of the episode.
“Does power consent?” The monks ask this over and over. The Doctor asks the most pertinent question: “You could take this planet in a, in a heartbeat. Why do you need consent?” Yet the monks persist, “Is your consent pure?” And finally, by way of explanation, “Love is consent.” The Doctor’s question goes unanswered. All we get is the monks’ reply: “We must be wanted. We must be loved. To rule through fear is inefficient.” But this never really answers any questions—the monks could “take this planet and its people” at any time they want. There is no valid reason for the consent/love. And in the end, they never get it. All of this is just an exercise in something; I’m sure the author thinks it is all very clever. However none of it makes sense.
The monks want love, yet everything they do is done to inspire fear. They do not do one thing that would inspire the least glimmer of love. How do they expect to get it? And why even bother? If fear is so inefficient, why is that the tactic they rely on throughout? How is love any more efficient? None of this is explained.
In the end, Bill consents. She consents in order to save the Doctor. The Doctor has saved the planet, but now the Doctor is in danger and Bill makes a deal with the monks in order to save the Doctor. But it is not love for the monks, it is love for the Doctor. “We must be loved” is what the monks said. They are not loved. The Doctor is loved. Bill consents out of love for the Doctor. So what was all of this for? Why didn’t the monks just take control and skip all of this unnecessary nonsense?
All of this aside, the story is tense and exciting. Many a time I have excused the ridiculous because of the Doctor Who factor; overlooked the bad for the goodness sake of Doctor Who. Not this time. Maybe it is once too often. Maybe it is the time in life I have come to. Or maybe it just is not good any more. Maybe, just maybe, the good no longer justifies the bad; maybe, just maybe the good exaggerates and exacerbates the bad. Maybe the show is relying on the good in order to get away with the bad; maybe the show just isn’t even trying any more; or worse, maybe the show thinks the bad is good, or that the good makes the bad good. Worst of all, maybe the show just doesn’t care any more; or thinks the viewers are too stupid (like the Earthlings in the New Who universe) to realize how bad the bad really is.
Bill makes the deal; the Doctor gets his sight back; the lab blows up but the Doctor is not. “Enjoy your sight, Doctor. Now see our world.” A few minor tweaks and this could have been a decent episode. I could forgive the stupidity of the humans; I could forgive the stupidity of the lab; I could forgive the stupidity of the Doctor. However I cannot forgive the stupidity that is the monks. And the entire story hinges on that.
I don’t know, Gary. I plod along. I hope this finds you enjoying some Classic Who (perhaps indoctrinating Mark now that he has joined you) and blissfully unaware . . . .
