The Web Planet

Dear Gary—

I’m so sorry, but try as I might I just can’t bring myself to like The Web Planet. And I have tried. I thought that, like with previous Doctor Who stories An Unearthly Child and The Sensorites, I would come to a greater appreciation upon repeated viewings. Not so. I think this story was a victim of its lofty ambitions overreaching its budget and time constraints.

It’s not just the cheesy costumes our bug creatures are forced to wear; the story itself seems unfocused and I hate to say it, but our regular cast doesn’t seem to have their hearts in it. After the ease of The Romans, The Web Planet seems forced.

The first episode, before the bug creatures enter the picture, is OK, but it too seems a bit jumbled. There is an odd bit where the Doctor implies his ring has mysterious powers, and he does something with it to open the jammed TARDIS doors, but it’s never quite explained or explored properly. There is a nice domestic bit between Barbara and Vicki as they discuss the differences in their times and ages, and some funny interactions between the Doctor and Ian as they take their first tentative steps out onto the planet’s surface. (“We very nearly had the remnants of a Colehill school teacher in there instead of this wretched old, ragged old tie.”)

But on the whole, this story feels rather like Vicki just pushing any old button on the TARDIS console and accidentally realigning the fluid link to get the power back.

Even the TARDIS life doesn’t seem consistent. New elements are thrown at us and then never referred to again. Like the Atmospheric Density Jackets (ADJ) that the Doctor pulls out for him and Ian to safely walk about in the alien atmosphere, or the pills he gives Ian for the same purpose. And then there is the Astral Map that just plugs into the wall, but apparently one should never unplug it—“You must never break the time and relative dimension link!” Scary thought, that. What if Barbara accidently trips over it one day? What if the electricity goes out?

And what’s with the Doctor’s ring? Not only can it mysteriously open the TARDIS doors, but it can mesmerize ants.

Ants. “They’re relentless. Indestructible.” And they’re annoying. That grating noise they make every time they are on screen is unbearable. They’re such clumsy villains too—why doesn’t the Doctor simply push them out of the way? At least the Daleks have a lethal gun arm; what do these ants (Zarbi) have to threaten with? Supposedly they have a poisonous sting, but this is never really made clear, and they can so easily be turned or overturned, how much of a threat is this really? Then the centipede-like gun creatures are thrown at us as an explanation for the Zarbi threat. Really? I’m not buying it.

Next we’re introduced to the bee/butterfly creatures (Menoptra). The tragic tearing off of their wings and their enslavement would be rather touching if I could only get past their costumes. The wings are rather nice, and the flying scenes are noteworthy, but we don’t see them often enough. Their odd way of speaking and inability to properly pronounce our adventurer’s names is a nice touch, except that it would be have been more effective if all the aliens on this planet didn’t have odd or annoying speech patterns.

And there are more aliens to meet. We are next introduced to the slug creatures living underground (Optera). This is where the budget had clearly run out, and where the plot was clearly thrown together at the last minute.

Like The Romans, we have three strands of story all leading to the same place, but to what purpose?  Unlike The Romans, our three strands do meet up in the middle. Buy Why?

Now we meet the spider like Animus in the Carcinome at the center of this web of a story. The Doctor and Vicki uselessly stumble in having left their weapon, the Isop-tope, behind. The Doctor falls immediately. Vicki bounces around in this bouncy castle for a bit before falling as well. Barbara manages to find the Isop-tope and enters at the same time that Ian for some reason comes crashing up through the hole he ripped in the bouncy castle floor. And somehow, miraculously, the Animus dies and all is well.

We’re never given a decent explanation as to what this Animus is, where it came from, how it could so easily overcome, what its purpose was, nothing.

“History doesn’t mean anything when you travel through time and space.” Apparently, in The Web Planet, nothing really means anything. It’s rather a scrap heap of a story with rag-tag elements retrieved from the bargain bin.

Sorry Gary.