The Space Pirates

Dear Gary—

“A boy, a girl, and a nutcase.” Jamie, Zoe, and the Doctor. The Space Pirates doesn’t quite dismiss our trio as Milo Clancey does, but it comes close. We don’t even see our adventurers until half way through the first episode, and even then it is not for very long. The script gives most of the tension, action, and dialogue to the supporting cast, especially in the opening episode of this six part story.

When they are given screen time the Doctor and his companions make the most of it, except I can’t help noticing that the Doctor displays some mild antagonism towards Zoe. Of course it is hard to tell in a reconstruction when there are no visuals to go on, but I first noticed this subtle hostility in the one episode that is available for viewing when the three lie knocked out on the floor of the freshly exploded beacon. The Doctor awakens first, and even though he is positioned directly next to Zoe he ignores her completely and reaches across her to check on Jamie.

I found this curious but let it pass. Later, though, I couldn’t help but notice how dismissive and patronizing he was towards her when she claimed to have worked out where they could find the far flung TARDIS.  “Oh I see . . . you’ve been messing about again, have you?” Previously he has been impressed and proud of Zoe’s mathematical accomplishments. Now he condescends, “Surprise us,” when she attempts to present her findings.  Then, as he realizes that she really has worked it out he begrudgingly admits, “As you say, a simple calculation; I should have thought of that myself.”

Is the Doctor perhaps beginning to resent Zoe’s intelligence?

As I say, Gary, it is very mild and subtle and it is hard to go by the soundtrack alone. And without those first two instances I would have thought nothing of the Doctor saying to Zoe, “Don’t be such a pessimist,” or “I’ll be all right—if you don’t fuss me.” That would have meant nothing more than his saying to Jamie, “Sometimes I don’t think you appreciate all I do for you.”  So, Gary, I will put this down as just the Doctor having an off day and the soundtrack not providing the necessary nuances to distinguish between caring and indifference; respect and condescension.

Despite this seeming anomaly in the Doctor, The Space Pirates has a solid story played out by a stellar cast. Between the Space Corp hunting down pirates, the eccentric space cowboy Milo Clancey, the villainous Caven and his sidekick Dervish, and Madeleine Issigri with the ultimate in helmet hair, The Space Pirates delivers on an entertaining six part adventure.

But that’s not what I watch Doctor Who for. It helps, certainly, but not even a thin script, shoddy effects, and cheesy costumes can hurt the show if the Doctor shows up.

“Oh dear . . . well I don’t think we’re quite where I expected.” The Doctor never seems to land where he expects, and we expect that. That is the Doctor and that is Doctor Who. If he lands on a beacon in space that is being pirated away, or if he lands on a planet of ineffectual people who are being subjugated by an unconvincing monster, it is all good so long as the Doctor shows.

“There’s only one thing we can do . . . run.” Wherever he lands, the Doctor and his companions do a lot of running. We expect that too. But they also come to rest, and the Doctor gets to thinking.

“He’s got his mysterious face on,” Jamie says as the Doctor ponders. There’s no use asking him what is going on or what they are going to do. The Doctor will work it out. He will get his “mysterious face on” and he will come up with the answer. We expect that.

“Well, I’ve got a screwdriver and I’ve got a slight knowledge of electromagnetism.” That’s all the Doctor needs. Knowledge and the limited tools available to him. Whether confronting space pirates or aliens, the Doctor has a screwdriver and a plan. We expect that.

“Oh dear, what a silly idiot I am.” We don’t expect that. The Doctor is not an idiot and he is not as a rule humble. But he can admit when he has made a mistake, and he does make the occasional mistake. So in another sense, yes, we can expect that. But we also expect that he will overcome this mistake and all will be right in the end.

“Look here, my man, I will not be threatened in this bullying manner.” Again to be expected. The Doctor cannot stand bullies and will not put up with them.

All of these things—miscalculated landings, running, pausing to ponder, clever schemes, unforeseen missteps, standing up to intimidation—all of these things we expect from Doctor Who. And I have to say, Gary, that when I started this piece I did not expect to find them in The Space Pirates. Unexpectedly I did.

In the midst of the strong story, in the midst of the talented supporting cast, I unexpectedly found the Doctor Who.

That is what stands out for me. Not the Space Corp hot on the trail of pirates, not the woman torn apart with the agonizing realization that her greed has led her to the door of murderers and to the imprisonment and torture of her own father, not the Slim Pickens/Chill Wills space cowboy, not the pitiless pirate cruelly forcing his own allies to terrible deeds. That is a story. A good story, granted. An interesting, exciting, entertaining story, yes.

But it is the Doctor landing on a handful of drawing pins that happen to be in his pocket that stands out for me. It is the bag of marbles, the tuning fork, and the stethoscope that come out of the surprising depths of his pockets.

“Anything’s possible in the TARDIS; especially when he’s at the controls.”

Anything is possible in the TARDIS. For all of the expected, anything is possible. Especially when the Doctor is at the controls.

And so I leave, Gary, with the Doctor at the controls.

Anything is possible . . .