Army of Ghosts

Dear Gary—

Army of Ghosts and its companion piece Doomsday are a resounding victory for the New Who direction of style over substance. “Pull up a chair,” the show invites us along with the Doctor. “Come and watch the fireworks.” Army of Ghosts is one spectacular fireworks show.

It starts right off the bat with Rose’s “This is the story of how I died” voice over. This brief narration manages to highlight all that I hate about Rose and about New Who. In that short span she insults her mother and Mickey and nineteen years of friendships and experiences, trivializing them all with a dismissive, “Nothing happened; nothing at all.” Then she glorifies the Doctor and his “magical machine.” She brags about all of time and space that he has shown her, and we are treated to a scene of the two on a gloriously realized alien planet.  But this only emphasizes the fact that we never got to see this planet, or any real alien planet of note with this duo.  And the tender looks and “forever” promises are straight from Rose’s schoolgirl dreams of romance.

Everything I hate in less than two minutes, all teed up and ready; and yet they are so expertly packaged. I know Rose is not dead as she recounts these things. All dressed in black and standing on a rocky shore in the wind. It never crosses my mind that there is a possibility that New Who would kill her off. I know this is a gimmick; I know that Rose is being her dramatic self; I know this is a set up for a slam bang finish to the season and to Rose’s companionship. And yet I am hooked and want to see this slam bang fireworks show.

It brilliantly starts with a heartwarming domestic scene as Rose reunites with Jackie. From the musical cues we know that this episode (and the next) is going to be pulling at our heart strings throughout. Add in the bits of humor and we are fully invested in this makeshift family unit that we know only too well is going to be pulled apart before it is all over.

Enter the ghosts. I know that these are not really ghosts, and I want to scream at the screen for the stupidity on display before me. No one in their right mind would accept these as ghosts, much less benevolent beings, long lost loved ones come to—what?—to stand around for a few minutes on schedule and then disappear until the next ‘shift?’ They don’t talk; they don’t interact. And yet they are embraced worldwide and in the space of two months have been integrated into daily life and pop culture. There’s no fear, anxiety, concern, not even any curiosity expressed over these ghostly beings. No scientific inquiry, no military buildup, no government panels convened.

But as channel after channel reveals yet another ridiculous ghost reference, as newscasters gush and commercials sell and soaps emote, it begins to dawn on me. Then the Doctor emerges with all of his Ghostbusters regalia and I am convinced. This was never supposed to be taken seriously. There is no belief to be suspended because there is no plot to follow. The entire thing is merely Doctor Who completely giving in to the spectacle.

“Oh! Oh, how marvelous. Oh, very good. Superb. Happy day.” Yvonne and her heavily armed soldiers of Torchwood applaud as the Doctor emerges from his TARDIS, clinching my theory. All hail the Doctor; all hail Doctor Who.

And so, Gary, I simply accept Doctor Who’s invitation; I pull up a chair and sit back to enjoy this theatrical piece of performance art.

My biggest applause I reserve for Jackie. She provides most of the heart and humor, and without these the spectacle is hollow. The Doctor passes Jackie off as Rose to Torchwood, and the short time they have together as “the Doctor and his companion” showcases what could have been. For me the Doctor always works best when his companion is not some fawning groupie. Jackie is anything but. (“If we end up on Mars I’m going to kill you.”)

Yvonne and Torchwood provide a semblance of structure to the proceedings, even though they are inane in the extreme. What exactly are they trying to accomplish with their ghost shifts? Something vaguely to do with harnessing energy, although how exactly—well, I suppose that’s not important. It’s as good an excuse as any and is your basic go-to answer whenever Doctor Who needs a reason. They are supposed to be a super top secret organization, yet they have built this skyscraper and are blatantly controlling these worldwide ghost shifts and no government or agency or covert operation has been put on alert. They seem to be a combination of a military and a scientific concern, yet they appear to be incompetent at both.

Torchwood regards the Doctor as an enemy and has been on the lookout for him since Queen Victoria first established the institution (Tooth and Claw). I wonder where they were when the Doctor was working for UNIT. However, Torchwood does assemble all the cast together and takes a stab at establishing meaning and motivation.

The Doctor serves to remind us that this is still Doctor Who despite the spectacle. David Tennant does turn it up a notch to match the flamboyancy of the serial, but he remains the Doctor. And his glass shattering demonstration offers the one shining moment of clarity.

The real fireworks, however, are reserved for our one two punch—Cybermen and Daleks. The Cybermen are the first to arrive upon the scene. They are the ghosts in Army of Ghosts. As the Doctor continually says, “A footprint doesn’t look like a boot,” and the ghosts are only vaguely reminiscent of the Cybermen. However it is no surprise that when they come crashing through into the world they are Cybermen; not a surprise to the Doctor, not a surprise to the audience; only a surprise to the gullible people of Earth, the perennial patsies of the Doctor Who universe.

The plastic is the big tip off. Adeola and Gareth go wandering off into the corridors of plastic and we know they are bound to meet with a Cyberman or two. What I can’t quite comprehend is why Adeola and Gareth, and later Matt, are needed in the grand Cyber scheme of things. It is wonderful to see Freema Agyeman (soon to be reincarnated as Martha Jones) in action, but as far as I can tell this whole sequence is merely to set up the Cybermen as baddies (as though we needed to be reminded). It’s not like the Cybermen need inside men and women on the job, unless they have some serious pre-cognition to know that the Doctor would interfere with the ghost shift which I know they do not, and regardless, they clearly demonstrate that they can force the ghost shift on their own without the mole intervention. But this is all part of the exhibition presented for our entertainment.

The stakes are heightened and the tension builds. The ghost shift is hijacked; the Doctor takes charge; the Cybermen are exposed; the void sphere starts to open; Mickey is revealed (Mickey!); the ghosts begin to materialize. It is all so skillfully done with the fast cuts, the swelling music, the panic, and the mixture of command, confidence, and confusion.

“It’s not an invasion,” the Doctor declares. “It’s too late for that. It’s a victory.” And the Cybermen are depicted across the globe, establishing control. “This is going to blast them to Hell,” Mickey asserts as he points a massive gun at the activating sphere. “The sphere is not ours,” the Cybermen claim to the Doctor’s utter surprise.

Everything escalates exponentially to the final, “Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!” Daleks!

To be continued.

Summer is upon us, and I am sure you know, Gary, that in Milwaukee that means every weekend, every lakefront festival, every church bizarre, every community fair will conclude with a fireworks show. From now until September the Milwaukee skyline will be spectacularly lit each evening Friday through Sunday. How appropriate to start this summer long season with this Doctor Who pyrotechnic display.

And still to come—the grand finale. Pull up a chair Gary . . .

Allons-y!