As promised, the Doctor and gang put the little girl and all
the unresolved issues of the season’s arc on hold and go off on an adventure.
There is a random lady with an eye patch sighting and an indeterminate
pregnancy test just to keep the audience aware of the arc, but for the most
part The Curse of the Black Spot is one of those stand alone episodes stuck
into the season as filler.
“Yo ho ho. Or does nobody actually say that?”
The Doctor and company are just playing; biding time; off on
a lark. It’s obvious that is the only reason they have chosen this particular
vessel to visit. They can’t even cover their lie very well. “Our sensors picked
you up,” the Doctor explains, only to realize that ‘sensors’ is a “problem
word.” He can’t get away with technical mumbo jumbo with this crew so he offers
up, “My ship automatically, er, noticed-ish that your ship was having some
bother.” He is stumbling around for some semblance of a reason for their stowaway
status, but neither Captain Avery nor I are buying it. What possible reading
could the TARDIS have picked up to indicate the ship is in trouble? His sonic
screwdriver doesn’t do wood (except it does do a decent job on a wooden water
barrel on deck but I’ll overlook that); I’m sure the TARDIS doesn’t do sailing
ships. Even if it did, what would it indicate as ‘some bother?’ That there is
no wind and so the ship is stalled in the water? That there is only a skeleton
crew aboard? Why would either show up on the TARDIS’ radar? We later learn that
there is a distress signal coming from the alien spaceship parked in the same
spot but on a different plane, so why didn’t the TARDIS take them there? Why
land on an earthly sailing ship that couldn’t possibly be emitting the distress
signal?
It’s simple really. The Doctor and Amy and Rory have decided
they want to play pirate. This is just an excuse for Amy to dress like a pirate
and the Doctor to walk a plank and Rory to . . . well for Rory just to be Rory,
which is great; Rory is the saving grace of Who in this stretch.
The Doctor takes his moment on the plank as an opportunity
to try out his stand up routine. And Amy has no fear that the Doctor is in any
danger; she takes the time to choose a fetching outfit to wear before appearing
on deck brandishing a cutlass. What fun they are having with this sanitized gang
of brigands.
(Since the Doctor is playing comedian, I’ll offer up one of
Dad’s jokes that is apropos of the serial. A little boy dressed up as a pirate
for Halloween and went trick-or-treating. At the first door he came to the
woman of the house exclaimed, “Oh, how adorable. But where are your
buccaneers?” To which the little boy replied in disgust, “Under my buckin’
hat.”)
As my mom would say, it’s all fun and games until someone
gets hurt.
Amy makes the tiniest cut on one of the cowering pirates and
a black spot appears on his palm—the cursed black spot. Rory gets a black spot
of his own as he tries to come to Amy’s defense. This draws out the green
Siren. “One touch of her hand and you’re a dead man.” As proof, the injured
pirate disintegrates as he reaches out to the songstress.
What follows is a routine romp. There are some funny bits as
the Doctor and Captain Avery compete over who has the bigger ship and Amy tries
to keep Rory from being sirened to death. There is another stowaway found (the
Captain’s sick son) and there is even an attempt at mutiny (although I don’t
know what the rebellious duo is thinking they can accomplish on a stalled boat
with no wind and no crew to speak of while being menaced by “a green singing
shark in an evening gown,” but what the heck, yo ho ho and all that).
There’s lots of running around below deck while the Doctor
tries to figure out what exactly is going on and as he revises his theories
multiple times. It’s terribly nice of the singing siren to refrain from popping
through any one of the number of reflective surfaces available to her (the
brass buttons on Amy’s coat, the cutlass blade, or the shards of glass
scattered about to name a few) until such time as the Doctor gets things sorted
out in his mind and the plot requires her presence.
The Doctor finally decides to take a chance on his latest
hypothesis and he, Avery, and Amy take a huge leap of faith, cutting their
fingers to attract the green menace. The trio is transported aboard an alien
craft in a parallel plane. At last the Doctor realizes that their ghostly
pursuer is actually a medic. However, I have to ask, what kind of doctor is
this, holographic or not, who doesn’t know how to heal? She has the knowledge
and technology to keep people alive but not to cure them? This isn’t a sick bay
so much as a storage facility.
Now we get into the broken record of a Rory is dead/no he’s
not plot. Rory is on the point of drowning. The Siren has saved him and hooked
him up to life support. It is up to Amy to restore life to him. Why Amy?
Because, Rory explains to her, “I know you’ll never give up.” Guess what, Rory?
She gives up. After barely a minute of trying she gives up. It is only due to the
indestructibleness of Rory and his uncanny ability of springing back to life that
he survives.
Let’s not forget Captain Avery, his dying son, and his hijacked
crew. There’s a warm and fuzzy ending for you. Father and son reunited, off to
explore the universe together in the short time the lad has left. Except the
reality is that the Doctor hands a death sentence to the kid and lets loose a
pack of ruthless bandits on an unsuspecting universe.
Typhoid fever is treatable. All the Doctor has to do is take
the young boy to a modern hospital. Or check the sick bay of the ship they are
on—I’m sure there are some antibiotics available, and if not there surely he
has some in the TARDIS. The holographic doctor is useless, but Rory is a nurse.
There is no reason for Avery’s son to die. But the Doctor lately has no real
interest in people other than the momentary thrill they provide him with. He’s
done with this lot and impatient to get off on his next adventure; saving the
boy would take too much time and trouble.
As for the pirates; nobody bothers to ask them if they want
to fly off into the unknown, but then why wouldn’t they? Their treasure is lost
but they now have access to a ship that can take them through the stars to
treasures untold. They stand staring out into those wide open spaces before
them with the gold lust sparkling in their eyes. So many planets to plunder.
The Curse of the Black Spot is an OK adventure with the
requisite humor and action, but the Doctor fails on so many levels, I never believe
anyone is in any real danger—not even (and especially not) Rory who can survive
anything these days—and the human drama is too superficial and generic.
Yo ho ho, Gary . . .
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