Let's Kill Hitler

Dear Gary—

“Let’s kill Hitler.” Then again, let’s not; let’s just shove him in a cupboard. (“Right. Putting Hitler in the cupboard.”)

This is something I have to learn to accept, Gary. New Who has abandoned reason and logic and sound story telling in favor of contrivance and convenience all in service to the most dramatic impact or the biggest special effect or the funniest gag. New Who has lowered the bar. Considerably. I have to accept this; and in so doing I can come to appreciate the entertainment value of the show.

And there is no getting around it; Let’s Kill Hitler is entertaining; it is rollicking good fun. Who cares if Amy and Rory will never know the joys of parenthood; will never experience their baby’s first step or first word; will never grow together as a family? They certainly don’t. And if they aren’t shedding any tears over it, neither will I. So why not kill Hitler, or at least marginalize him away and forget about him? It is oh so amusing, and who can argue with that?  

This is not the first time that one of the most heinous chapters in history has been mined for comedy gold. The Great Dictator and The Producers leap readily to mind. Let’s Kill Hitler is not in the same class as those two classics, but it suffices.

However, the Führer and Third Reich are nothing more than a punch line in this episode. The story could take place in any place and any time. It is extremely unlikely that the Doctor would have accommodated the murderous Mels by taking her to WWII Germany, but it gives us a cool episode title and gives Rory the opportunity to punch Hitler. Once that is accomplished we can wash our hands of them. Even when Mels (Aka Melody; Aka River) holds up a room full of people, not a Nazi is to be found. Instead we have the heretofore unknown Teselecta arriving on the scene to exact revenge.

Here is a perfect example of the New Who formula. The Teselecta transforms itself in spectacular fashion into a perfect duplicate of General Zimmerman down to his suit, belt, boots, buttons, and insignia. But it doesn’t do glasses. That is so we can have the a few brief but totally cool moments as the Teselecta slowly reaches out to grab the specs off the real General’s face.

“Time travel has responsibilities,” Carter explains of the Teselecta. A robot worked by tiny people and that travels through time seeking out the worst criminals of the universe in order to extract them at the end of their life to “give them hell.” The Time Lords never would have allowed this, and the Doctor is understandably appalled. I’m not even going to get into who thought this was a good idea or why the Doctor has never run across them or why, as long as they are going to all the time and cost, they have allowed the likes of Davros (to name only one) to run wild. It is great in concept and execution, even if there is no context for it.

Likewise the antibodies. These friendly little mechanical killers are wonderfully creepy. Not very practical, but they add some menace to the proceedings to keep things lively. Harriet’s close call with these robotic cleaners illustrates how stupid an idea it is to have them on board. Rory and Amy also are lucky that Jim shows up when he does and that the sensors he clamps on their wrists don’t malfunction. When Amy turns the antibodies on the crew—well, what else do they expect?

It is fortunate as well that Zimmerman is “guilty of Category Three hate crimes” and that this is punishable by death. I’m not sure when his trial was held, but at least the Teselecta crew can rest easy with clear conscience knowing that his execution is righteous. His Party might notice that he has gone missing, though, and there might be some pesky history altering as a result of his premature demise, but what is that to these intergalactic assassins? It is somewhat inconsistent with their mission, however. They make a great point of halting their operation against Hitler when they realize it is too soon in his timeline, and they take great pride in explaining to the Doctor that they don’t kill but rather torture their victims. However this doesn’t seem to be a hard and fast rule with them as they quickly turn their attention to River even though she is far from the end of her life. But whatever; they act according to the script and to the greatest advantage for the plot.

The plot centers on River (Aka Mels, Aka Melody). We had the big reveal last time around, now comes some filling in of some blanks. Thus we get scenes of Mels shoehorned into the past of Amy and Rory. I’m not sure why these two hang around this juvenile delinquent. Based on the few glimpses we get of Mels, there is nothing that is remotely likeable about her. However we are to believe that she has been close with Amy and Rory since childhood even though we have never seen or heard about her before now (nor has the Doctor). Again, whatever. It serves the narrative so let’s roll with it.

The regeneration scene is well done, and the lighthearted, flirtatious sparring between Melody (Aka Mels, Aka River) and the Doctor is amusing. (I especially love the banana gag.) Alex Kingston plays Melody’s delight in her new body to the hilt, and her jealous curiosity at the repeated name of River is amusing and makes her subsequent discovery of her identity all that more poignant.

As fun as it all is, I still can’t quite believe. The Silence went to all the convoluted trouble to capture Baby Pond. They brainwashed her; indoctrinated her; brought her up with the sole purpose of killing the Doctor. She is a psychopath; a killing machine. Yet when only a child she escaped, sought out her parents, and lived out her youth without The Silence taking any notice. And rather than take any of the ample opportunities she must have had during her tenure in Leadworth, she waits until now to meet and kill the Doctor. Her prime directive and she puts it off. At the very least she could have kissed him deadly at Amy’s and Rory’s wedding. And while Alex Kingston is very convincing, I still view River’s change of heart as much too rushed for one so dedicated for so many years. But again I have to go back to New Who’s prime directive and let all of that slide in preference to the entertaining package they are selling.

The dying Doctor is another highlight. “Regeneration disabled”—of course it is. How? Who knows and who cares. His interaction with the Voice Interface alone is worth it. His rejection of his own image is priceless, followed by the guilt-laden images of Rose, Martha, and Donna before he settles on the incomparable Amelia Pond. The rather irritable insistence on the part of the Voice Interface that it is not in fact Amelia Pond is puzzling for an impersonal computer program, but again who cares? It’s funny. As well as its repeated declaration that he will be dead in thirty two minutes. It is not very helpful, this Voice Interface, but it is highly amusing. And then to top off the bit: “fish fingers and custard.”

River giving up all of her remaining regenerations in order to save the Doctor is the epitome of convenience, contrivance, and dramatic impact. It is fitting and right that it should be so. And the Doctor leaving the blank blue diary by her bedside is the best touch of all.

The worst touch—“The Silence is not a species.” (Did anyone imply that it was?) “It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked.” Here it is, that inane Arc of Silence. What is The Question? “The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.” But what is it? (Oh, good God, who cares?) “Unknown.” Of course it is. They don’t know what the question is, but they know it exists and that it is the oldest question. Gobbledygook. Mumbo Jumbo. Forty-two.

This is of course meant to light up the fan forums and keep the season arc alive. The problem is that it will have to be addressed one day, and that inevitably can only be a disappointment.

Oh well, moving on . . .

The Doctor had promised Amy and Rory that he would find their baby. He doesn’t. Instead he finds the fully grown River, and apparently Amy and Rory are OK with that. Small consolation, but oh well, life in the TARDIS goes on. Now if the Doctor really wanted to find Baby Pond, all he would have to do is ask the grown River where she was held as a child. But River obviously does not want her past to change. She doesn’t care about the heartbreak her parents suffered (well, except they don’t seem to really suffer all that much); she knows how everything turns out for her and she doesn’t want to miss out on any of that adventure. And so she and the Doctor invent this ‘spoilers’ game to cover their tracks. It has nothing to do with laws of time—New Who has proven that there are no ill consequences when time lines are crossed (unless the plot calls for it to be so).

I’ll play along, Gary; it’s more fun that way.