Planet of Fire

Dear Gary—

Oh good God. It’s Peri.

And did they really have to name her stepfather Howard? It’s a creepy enough stepfather/stepdaughter relationship, but every time she whines “Howard” I hear echoes of “Howard, Howard Bannister” from the overbearing fiancé in What’s Up Doc? Eunice Burns. Coming from the mouth of Madeline Kahn it is hilarious; however coming from the mouth of Nicola Bryant playing Perpugilliam Brown it is nails on chalkboard annoying.

I want to like the girl. She’s spunky enough, especially when she stands up to the Master/Kamelion. But when she sputters out lines like “S-s-so what. I-I-I’m Perpugilliam Brown and I can shout just as loud as you can,” she just sounds like a brat having a tantrum. She is constantly whimpering, screaming, crying, griping, and stuttering. All in the most annoying voice I ever heard.

Even the Master/Kamelion tells her, “Stop mewling.” If only.

Did I mention that she has an annoying voice?

Peri almost makes me long for Saloon Song Sally from The Gunfighters. Or how about some Zarbi? I think I could tolerate a Zarbi companion better.

Speaking of companions, this is the last outing for Turlough and Kamelion both. The open door policy of the TARDIS is coming to a close. Before kicking him out, however, we at last get a brief accounting of Turlough’s background.

Up until now Turlough has been a mystery. When first introduced in Mawdryn Undead we knew he was not from Earth even though he was found in a boy’s school there (“the worst place in the universe”). The Doctor knew too. It was evident from the start that the Doctor made this instant assessment, but he chose to keep it to himself, smirking with his secret knowledge. I keep expecting the Doctor at some point to reveal his awareness of Turlough’s alien being and to ask some questions. But he never does. Turlough is just accepted with no curiosity or interest expressed by the Doctor.

This indifference is maintained throughout Turlough’s tenure with the Doctor. Occasionally the Doctor slips in a sly grin at him as if to say, ‘I know what you’re about but I’m not going to bother discussing it with you.’ I find this maddening because I am extremely curious about Turlough.

Planet of Fire starts filling in some of the blanks for us, and finally the Doctor begins to ask questions. Understandably, Turlough rebuffs these enquiries or gives only brief, half answers. I don’t blame him, and the Doctor’s hurt and at times hostile reaction is unjustified since he has never attempted any confidence or understanding with his companion before.

If he had made any effort at all, the Doctor would have learned that Turlough is a political exile from his home planet of Trion, having been on the losing side of a civil war. Early in his travels Turlough requested that the Doctor take him to his home planet. Given the circumstances I’m not sure why, but perhaps he was just looking to spark some interest and when that didn’t work he shrugged and gave up. No wonder he desperately tries to cover up all traces of Trion at the beginning of Planet of Fire.

At least Turlough was treated better during his journeys with the Doctor than Kamelion who was ignored; shunted off to a back room of the TARDIS and forgotten. And at least Turlough leaves the Doctor willingly, albeit reluctantly (“I don’t want to go, Doctor; I’ve learned a lot from you”), to return to his home planet as “a bit of a hero.” Kamelion, on the other hand, is euthanized by the Doctor using the Master’s dreaded Tissue Compression Eliminator after first having a cyber-heart attack that is induced by the Doctor.

The Master doesn’t fare any better; not that the Master deserves any better. Seeking renewal, the Master stands in the stream of the restorative numismaton gas only to have it turn to flames. The Doctor stands by and stares as the Master is consumed. A rather grim story for the Doctor; so much for his vow to mend his ways at the end of Resurrection of the Daleks.

Planet of Fire does have a semi-decent core of a story, if somewhat threadbare. Holding it together is Timanov, the truly devout spiritual leader of the colony on Sarn. His presence lends remarkable dignity to the tried and true tale of indigenous peoples worshiping the memory and artifacts of alien visitors.

In this case the alien visitors were from Trion. Sarn, we learn, served as a prison planet for Trion political prisoners. This is where it gets a bit murky on timelines and details. There are some ruins of what must have been a Trion city, but there are no longer any inhabitants. The only Trion on Sarn, other than the newly arrived Turlough, is Malkon. Apparently the last ship from Trion carrying prisoners crashed, killing all on board including Turlough’s father, with the exception of the infant Malkon who turns out to be Turlough’s brother. This does not explain what happened to the others from Trion who had come before, nor does it explain how they came to be viewed as gods. Or more accurately the god Logar, or indeed where the name Logar came from. I can only assume that the first prisoners were led by a man named Logar and he viewed it as a joke to pass himself off as a god to the natives. And I can only assume that this happened many generations ago; that is the only explanation for the legend to be so firmly entrenched and for Timonov’s faith to be so dearly held.

Turlough makes a point of noting the Trion equipment located in the Hall of Fire is fairly new so it must be off of his father’s crashed ship. Malkon was an infant at the time of the crash but Turlough was old enough to be a Junior Ensign Commander, yet there doesn’t seem to be that great of an age gap between the two. Of course this could be explained by time travel; Turlough could be in his own future in which case his return to Trion would find his contemporaries aged well past him. Or it could just be that the people of Trion show their age differently than those of Earth. Either way, it would be fascinating to catch a glimpse of the continuing story of Turlough. Alas, not to be.

All of this is presumption on my part; we only get a shorthand version of the history of Sarn. Much like the shorthand version of how the Master came to be miniaturized; how or why the diminutive Master got himself into a box; and how the Master came to control Kamelion.

I suppose the nature of the story demands the shorthand, what with all of the arrivals and departures and explanations that need to be crammed in. It is a decent enough tale, one that does some long overdue justice to Turlough. I’m sorry to see him go but I don’t blame him for leaving. I don’t much care one way or the other about the death of Kamelion; he has been so utterly neglected that his demise has little impact. The use of the Master, however, has been so overused that I don’t really mind seeing his supposed destruction; and his miraculous ability to reappear with little or no explanation of how he got out of the last impossible predicament the Doctor left him in blunts any real threat that this is the end for him.

But oh good God, Gary. It’s Peri.

I don’t know what your thoughts were on Peri, Gary. I don’t think you had the same visceral dislike that I have. I will try my hardest to look past the cringe inducing effect her voice has on me as I go forward.

But oh good God . . .